The Reason That I Live
by Dawning Wolf
Summary: Lucy doesn't know what to live for. She has her friends but there is something missing in her life. She feels as if she has no control over the things that that go on around her. Everything will soon start to change for her. But for better or for worse. Lucy needs a reason to live, and her friends may just be the people to help her.


**Hi guys. I'm back with another story. This time, I'll try to update more regularly. This story is in memory of my grandmother who passed away in April of 2016.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail. All rights belong to Hiro Mashima.  
**

Lucy's POV:

 _My entire life, I have wondered what the meaning of life is. Is it all a dream, or is it something greater? Why do we live? Some people have suffered so much but they keep moving forward. How they do this? How to they get past the barrier in their life? I have all these questions about this world. Some of them may never be answered, but I can find out a lot more if I move forward. Does this mean that I am overcoming my fears? Or this mean something else?_

I leaned back in my chair and finished posting this on Wattpad. I am writing a story about my experiences and my life. I go to Magnolia High School. I'm in my senior year and I'm going to graduate this year. Then I will go off the college and hopefully get a profession in writing. I want to become a world famous author so I can inspire everyone with my books. I live all alone in a small apartment. Technically, since I'm a minor, I shouldn't be allowed to live by myself but I was able to pull a few strings.

My mother was Layla Heartfilia. She died when I was five. The doctors said that she had a disease that was incurable. There was nothing that they could do to save her. After her death, my father completely distanced himself from me. He would ignore me and wouldn't even talk to me. I didn't even see him when I was eating any meals. My father was the business owner of an oil company and railway so he was a very rich man. But that never made me happy. I was always alone. I never had any friends and I was tutored privately. My father thought that public schools were beneath our status.

That's why when I had turned 14 and was about to enter high school, I begged and pleaded with him to let me go and study in a public school. He agreed as long as I had the best grades and I joined at least two extracurricular activities. I have kept that promise so far. I have to best grades in the entire school and I joined the kickboxing club and the book club. But honestly there is no reason for me to keep that promise any more.

My father is dead. _DEAD._ He died last year during my Spring Break. I don't know whether I should be happy or sad. At the funeral I couldn't cry. There was nothing there. I felt empty and raw. However the moment I got home, the tears came. It was like a torrent. It swept through me and left nothing behind. I thought that I would never care about what might happen to him but after seeing him dead I realized that there was no living family member that I had. My mom was gone, my dad as well. I never had any siblings. I never loved my father but at least I had some sort of family. Makes me wonder if I always took having a family for granted. It's strange have you have everything one day but you can just lose it all the next.

All of this happened after he lost the company. Even though we were not rich anymore, the Heartfilia name is still a powerful one. That's how I was allowed to live alone. I couldn't stand being in the mansion anymore. It brings back too many painful memories. If I didn't have any friends at school, I would honestly kill myself. I really don't have anything to live for do I? There is no family to support me and the only reason that I'm going to college is because I have a scholarship. If I didn't I wouldn't even be able to go to college. I have a part time job as a kickboxing instructor. It pays but not enough.

In school I have a lot of friends but my closest are: Erza Scarlet, Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Wendy Marvel, Levy McGarden, Lisanna Strauss, and Mirajane Strauss. I met them when I started high school. Wendy is the youngest of us all. She is in her sophomore year. She is Natsu's cousin. All of them are full of life even though they have suffered through many hardships. Natsu and Wendy both lost their parents at a young age and were forced to live at an orphanage called Cait Shelter. They met the rest of the gang there. Gray lost his mother and father in a fire. He was taken in by his teacher, Ur. She died of a certain illness. Erza lost all of her friends and family when she was young. She doesn't remember how, and honestly, I'm not going to push her. It's too traumatic. Lisanna and Mira were considered demons in their old town, along with their brother Elfman Strauss. Their family was accused of witchcraft. I know it sounds crazy but it's true and Levy's parents didn't want her, so they sent her to Cait Shelter to grow up.

My friends are all part of the kickboxing club, or any other fight club. The club itself isn't at the school, but rather in a place we like to call Fairy Tail. Every time I see them, they are all so happy. I on the other hand, seem to be losing my life slowly. My friends are starting to notice as well. I just can't seem to remember the last time I ever felt happy. Is that strange? The only time I truly feel at ease is when I'm writing or talking with Natsu. He's my best friend and the only person I can really talk to without feeling embarrassed. I don't know if it's a crush, but people seem to tease me about liking him.

But to me, I don't have time for a crush. I would rather just continue with my life. To me, everything that I love is taken away from me. I don't want to keep putting myself through that. Staying just friends with Natsu is the best thing for me. I just want a normal life where I can forget about all of my problems and keep moving forward. I want a reason to live.


End file.
